A "Dear John" Letter

Dear Silicone Bakeware Set,

We met a few years ago, and after a whirlwind courtship at Costco I committed to loving you and baking with you for all the days of my life. Like most relationships, it was a little awkward at first, getting to know your style, your habits, how to properly take a cake out of your square baking dish. I made some mistakes, some messy ones, but we forged ahead.

For the last few years, I thought we had one another figured out. I thought things between us were working. But lately, well... rather the last year or so, your performance has been sub par. I mean, I know it takes two in a relationship, but I feel there is only so much more I can give.

For instance, your directions said not to use cooking spray, but lately everything I bake sticks regardless. And do you know what it's like to have six muffin tops on your counter, and six entire muffins stuck in a pan? And not because they were burnt, Sir, no... Those homemade blueberry banana muffins were baked to perfection. It's not fair of you. We've reached a crucial point in our relationship, and I need to ask the tough question.

Do you expect me to serve my guests muffin tops with a plate of muffin crumbs on the side? Every time? When is enough 'enough?'

I believe I know the answer to this question. I've known it the last year, as everything I bake ends up in a heap on the counter. It is time for a separation. Just a trial, really... me putting you in the Goodwill box doesn't mean we're entirely through, I just need time to think this all over. And I think I need to bring a muffin tin into the house to truly experience the separation.

It's not you, it's me.

Okay, it's you. But I tried, I really did! I only had one stoneware loaf on the side, and I was honest with you about her this entire time! And She has never let me down!!

Okay, Bakeware, I'm sorry for letting this get out of hand. We shouldn't say things we're both going to regret one day. Let's just try living life separately for a time, and see how we feel about things. I'm sorry I was the one to say it, but it needed to be said. I hope in time you can forgive me.

Sincerely,

The MRS.